One of those times

You remember when you told me to be a man and suck it up?
And I explained to you that I was depressed and I needed someone to talk to?
This is (insert title here)
I wish you understood that the reason us MEN, as you generalize me as, GENERALLY suffer from depression our whole lives.
So telling someone to be a man and suck it up is basically like telling them to join the general population of men who bottle all their emotions up inside and are killed from their depression because they "sucked it up"
It's really damn sad that I only have two people's numbers memorized right now that I call.
Because neither of those people has the time for me.
This is (insert title here) that I wish I was brave enough to just end it.
This is one of those times when I am sucking it up, and it physically is weighing down upon my chest, and I'm struggling to breathe.
This is one of those times when I don't know if I'm saved.
When I don't know if I'm going to heaven.