Sleep

I'm going to sleep
I hope I don't wake up this time.
I hope there actually is a heaven, and I can get in.
But I'm pretty sure I won't if there is.
I don't doubt in God.
But heaven?
Not so sure
I hope to find out soon enough.
It's better than trying to figure this out.
Trying to apologize time after time for feelings I don't have?
Trying to fix what I've done wrong...
If you're reading this... you can show her.
She doesn't know the depths of my depression.
Let her see the world through confused eyes.
My world.
It's darker than I knew.