Today (Choose)

I don't think I've cried that hard in a long time.
I'm not sure.
it was hard to breathe.
My only thought was that I needed someone to tell.
Someone specific was on my mind, but I couldn't find them.
So, Dakota became the shoulder I cried on.
Dakota, who NEVER lets me hug him, hugged me and asked what was wrong.
Dakota asked if I was okay.
Thanks Dakota.
I needed that.
Typing this was hard.
I started crying again, and I couldn't even see.
But it needed to be said.
Maybe someone will know I hurt.
Maybe someone will get me away from here.
Maybe someone can get rid of him.
Can show her that she doesn't need him.
Can show her that she'll lose me to him.
I won't stick around.
I told her this too.
She laughed and told me how I can't get into college, can't join the Navy, can't do anything.
Thanks for the support, Mother. Just you wait. I'll come home in that uniform, and
you know who I'm giving money to? Grandma.
Or, maybe if I gave you enough, You'd divorce that fuckbag.
That douche.
That fucking asshole you call a fucking husband who I told this morning,
that I HOPE he rots in Hell.
I wouldn't wish that one anyone.
He's the only one I would say that to.
Did you hear what he said back, Mother?
He said he'll see me there first.
If I was you, I would have fucking hit him for saying that to my child. but no.
You're a codependent whore who can't live without someone even when they beat her children and try to get them arrested multiple times.
Thanks, mom.
For choosing another failure father.
I hope he's worth losing me.
Because next year at this time, you may not even know where I am.
I promise you.
It's him or me.
Now choose